This idea is something very dear to my heart.
When I am anxious or in a heightened state (e.g. panic attack, etc.) it is impossible for me to flow with anything. Unless you think of the type of frenetic energy of a Tsunami. But certainly not my life and the world around me.
If anything, life slams me – slams me in the forehead, chest and solar plexus!
When I am in this state it is like I am on a perpetually moving travelator that is getting faster and faster.
My body is ‘stuck’ in this forward, fast moving way of being. There are too many moving parts for me to apply the brakes and stop this momentum.
Heart racing, shallow breathing, sweaty, unable to think clearly or rationally, except about how I might be close to death!
In a state of anxiety I force myself to do everything, force myself to breathe and force myself to continue, so that I don’t just stop and cease existing on this earth.
My mind and body accelerate out of control, when everything that I want in those moments is to be in control of myself, my thoughts, my heart beat, my laboured breathing!
Still I kept pushing through.
When I was constantly forcing my mind and body to resist and to fight how I was feeling I was forcing, fighting and raging against myself. I know this way so well, but I now have some different options available to me.
Read part 2.